Shingeki no Kyojin



""All the good men are either gay, dead or titans.""

- Fangirls

Shingeki no Kyojin, also known as Attack on Titan, not to be confused with it's millions of spin-offs, parodies, and fan works, (A Slap on Titan, Attack on Space, Attack on Boy's Love, A Spoof on Titan, A Shit on Titan, A Titan on a Titan, Remember The Titans, Titanfall, Titanic, Attack on Title Joke, and Attack on Typhoid to name a few) is a bit more overrated than Dragon Ball Z.

It centers on a young boy named Eren Jaeger and his quest to rid the world of the giant manbabies that ate his mother and destroyed his humble town.

The original manga is written by Hajime Isayama. The first few volume's art looks like diarrhea, but after the anime made enough money for Hajime to buy cocaine, it got better.

Setting
Shingeki no Kyojin takes place in a postapocalyptic future medieval almost-Germany with some steampunk thrown in for good measure. This makes the anime popular among sci-fi nerds, LARPers, Nazis and, of course, steampunks. Humanity is trapped in a few walls that weren't built by humans (wow, mystery) to prevent the monsters that may have been made by humans (wow, so mystery) from eating them.

The military is divided into three branches: legislative, executive and judicial. If trainees do really well and manage not to fall over while getting a wedgie from a swing set, they get to live with the morbidly obese king, who has like one scene in the entire first season. Why would they want to be in the company of this gluttonous moron? So they aren't eaten by the gluttonous morons out(and in)side of the walls, of course!

The story
When Shiganshina, the hometown of our heroes, Eren "Yeah Girl" Jaeger, Mikasa "Scott" Ackerman and Armin "A-Word" Arlert, gets rekt by an angry guy with no skin, everyone is really sad. Except Eren, who is really sad and angry. He wants to kill every titan in the world, (L-O-V-E L-O-V-E oh) but he must first be accepted into the Recon Survey Scouting Legion Corps. He makes many friends during his training, like the girl who ate the potato, big nose, sweaty big nose, sweaty big nose's boyfriend, baldy, horse, horse's boyfriend, girlier Armin, girlier Armin's girlfriend, and there are probably a few more one-dimensional characters not in this list, but you get the gist. At the big graduation ceremony, Thomas the Dank Engine is all, "We can never beat the titans", then Jaeger is all, "no u", then the grads are inspired. Next thing you know, the Colossal XL Titan with Beans Instead of Beef has returned, and tears Wall Rose a new asshole. With his foot. How disgusting. In the resulting chaos, the cadets are sent out in hopes to make the titans eat too much and explode. Thomas, Mina, and pretty much everyone else excluding shota He-Man are nommed.

Mikasa kills a colossal amount of titans, (that has a hilarious double meaning) and then finds Armin crying like a little baby man girl boy. She inspires the heck out of all the secondary characters, and then they use the hooks/chains/swinging things to get to the jetpack fuel supply store. On their way out, they see titan!Eren going HAM on the titan that ate Thomas. There is hope for humanity yet. Next, Levi, a man who isn't bad at killing titans, kicks Eren millions of times in the face. (That's how court trials work in the SNK universe.) Probably the best scene in the series. They decide to let Eren live despite his uncontrollable Hulk powers and constant rage crying. They put his powers to good use (the Hulk powers, not the rage crying powers) plugging Wall Rose's new butt. Next they plan on using him to defeat the Female Titan, which is just like a regular titan, except it's payed less. All of Levi's friends are killed, and he displays about as much emotion as usual. It turns out the titan was Annie all along, playing a funny prank on them. They all have a good laugh and the series ends.

Attack on Titan: The Lost Wigs of Mankind
In a last ditch effort to make more money, Isayama said, "Let there be a 3DS game!" The gameplay is similar to Shadow of the Colossus, the story is similar to Sword Art Online, and the graphics are similar to, I'm gonna guess, Battletoads? Overall, it's an excellent game.

Attack on Titan: Bawl Toward Freedom
A smartphone game with a stupid name designed to make money off of idiots. It's just Clash of Clans with titans. Play the Attack on Titan online game instead, ya dumb weeaboo.

Why is this show more popular than Orenchi No Furo Jijo?!
Shingeki no Kyojin rivals The Big Three in terms of popularity. Keep in mind, however, "otakus" love to hate on any anime that disgusting normal people enjoy, so the show has a pretty big hatedom as well. It has no fanservice, so it's one of those G-rated anime you can show to your parents, grandparents, and grandchildren. I think we can all agree that SNK is at least better than SAO. Well, I mean, all of us with functioning brains.

Also, the opening themes are pretty beast, bro.